Toon Link

The Tiny Hylian Terror

This lil guy can spam with the best of them. Toon Link is fast in the air and quick with all sorts of projectiles. His arrows aren’t quite as quick as Young Link’s, but they’re still good at pestering; they seem to go a bit farther than YL’s fire arrows. The boomerang is a good tool, as are the bombs. These three toys used in conjunction make for toon link 2some pretty mean harassment. Toon Link’s up b doesn’t seem to have quite as much upward mobility, but it’s still a solid recovery option. The last sword strike can also kill at decent percents.

Toon Link has a pretty good aerial speed. His nair comes out fast, but doesn’t stay out too long. His bread and butter seem to be fair and bair. You chase down people with these all day, and both moves have kill potential. Uair is still a great kill move. I hate Toon Link’s dair, as it sends you straight down and limits any horizontal movement. Yes, it’s a pretty strong move, but I think you have to get creative to hit with it. It does spike, so maybe there is some potential with it as an edgeguarding tool. (I’ve messed up Wii Fit Trainer quite a bit with this dair, actually…) On the ground, I feel like all of his moves are good, but they seem to be missing a bit of ‘unf’. The back throw is still great, but it seems a bit nerfed. All of his smashes seem slightly… less powerful. The range leaves a lot to be desired. His f smash for instance hits only once, though it does hit above him a little. The up smash too, hits around Toon Link, and can kill, but he’s too short to do anything to people above him on platforms. I like the the forward tilt a lot (it hits above you as well) but again, the range leaves something to be desired.toon link 1

Toon Link is a character you need to zone and pester with before you do any real work with his sword. Some characters will be easier than others to chase down and punish, but Toon Link’s tiny lil sword and smashes aren’t big or scary enough to go toe to toe with someone like King K. Rool, Ike, Ridley, Snake, etc. That’s why you’ve got the bombs, arrows, and boomerang. Against other sword wielders with no projectiles, you should be able to especially abuse these toys. I think his strengths rest in his speed, both on the ground and in the air, and his solid set of b moves. The thing holding this guy back, in my opinion, is a lack of kill options. Yes, you he has them, but you’ve gotta get creative in late in the stocks. Remember the uair, the up smash, and be heavy on the bomb usage. You should be able to give most opponents hell.

toon link arrow

Mii Swordfighter

The Customizable Cutthroat

Like the Smash 4, the Mii characters are plenty fun to mess around with, but they always seem to be missing a little something. I’ll still attest to the best thing about this character being its customizable nature. All of the Mii’s b moves can be switched out with one another allowing you to create a relatively unique custom fighter. This is where the Swordfighter’s strengths lie, I think.


The Swordfighter’s normal attacks leave a lot to be desired. In the air, they’re not bad, simply because of the nair, which comes out pretty fast and hits all around you. Their bair isn’t really a kill move (okay, it can be, it comes out fast enough, save it for the end), the fair, uair, and dair can be, but the sweet spot is hard to land and they aren’t super abusable. Swordfighter’s jab is relatively slow and range overall seems to be the shortest out of the sword users in the game. Sure, forward smash can kill, up smash can kill; (up smash is not bad) and down smash comes out fast and shoots the target at a horizontal (and slightly downward?) angle. The throw game is meh. Maybe down throw and chase down with nairs at early percents, but there’s nothing here that feels fantastic. Especially the grab range. Hoo boy, it’s pitiful. The tilts aren’t bad, but they ain’t great. Again, range leaves something to be desired. Nothing really feels fast or powerful enough to lean on. I’ll just short-hop nair all day with this mii, to be honest.

The b/special moves are where you can really get creative and get your Swordfighter skills to shine. The neutral special move can help you harass or zone. Gale strike isn’t my favorite but it knocks the opponent up so you can try and follow up with nairs, or a uair for a kill if the percent is right and ceiling is low enough. Blurring blade seems to have a good amount of priority; it can kill, maybe, especially if you charge it. I’d rather just forward smash though… The shurikens are good little pesterers. They do more damage the farther they travel, so in the beginning of the match, your projectiles could be landing 9% – 8%, which is nice I think. They don’t give much knockback though, even at high percents.mii 2

Forward b grants you another projectile with the chakram if you want it. This thing has fun properties, and most people won’t probably know what to do with it, because let’s be honest, who has good Swordfighter match-up knowledge? Use the chakram to harass from far away at different angles, or throw out the short-range option: this will hit multiple times; it stays out longer, you can combo into a grab or smash (very useful, imho). Gale stab ain’t bad either. It works like a Ike’s side b. Will kill light people near the edge if they don’t expect it. Charge it, use it as recovery. (Swordfighter’s up b leaves a lot to be desired, distance-wise). The airborne assault is also decent horizontal recovery. This move travels FAR. It can also kill. It’ll stop at a ledge if used on ground, but in the air, you’ll kill yourself. (I’m pretty sure you lose you jump if you don’t connect with anything).

Up b special moves are all pretty decent. Again, distance-wise, the best may be the stone scabbard, but it mimics Ike’s, and sends you straight down too. It can also be interrupted near it’s apex. Very annoying. But, you’re allowed a little more horizontal movement with it. Combo it with up or down throws early on in percents. (It’s like Ike’s, but… yeah, just worse) The skyward slash dash mimics Fox’s up b. Control the direction of use, but be careful: after its spent, you’ve got very little control over your fall. It doesn’t hit as hard as fire fox, which takes away most kill possibilities, but allows you to chase or follow up with it. The hero’s spin is a poor man’s Link up b. It doesn’t go very high, but it can kill. I’ve seen people neutral b tornado into the hero’s spin, and this can kill at high temps at edges of the stage (if they don’t DI…).mii bros

Down b moves give swordfighter a reflector (very nice, easy to get the hang of; I like it more than Dr. Mario’s cape right now?!); Power thrust works like Captain Falcon’s falcon kick: horizontal on the ground, downward angle in the air. Hits twice when landing on the ground. Can kill late in percents. Pretty fast, decent priority. Then, if you’re that type of person, Swordfighter has a counter. From what I can tell it hits upward. This is similar to Smash 4 Corrin, I think? Still, obviously not as good as hers. Yes it can kill, I guess. Really, this is where your fighter flavor comes in. I like the reflector, I think the power thrust is the best on though. Use the counter if your heart tells you to counter.

Overall, the Swordfighter is a quirky character that I had a lot of fun playing with. The customizable move set adds an interesting layer of unpredictability that a lot of other fighters can’t really emulate. Still, I foresee a lot of rough match ups for this character, special moves aside. (The nair, though.. really is pretty great.)

Don’t Cry. Shane is Making a Tier List: Smash Ultimate Edition

Tires Don Exit



Be that as it may,

I think just as many people come to this blog to read poetry as they do for killer gaming techniques (ie, no one). So, I decided to give the public what they want and create a tier list for the 74+ characters in Super Smash Brothers: Ultimate.

It’ll be… a rather slow process to say the least. I mean, I’ve got over 70 goddamn characters to play and give my half-baked opinion on. Not all half-assed things can be done in a short amount of time. This half-assed project will take… jeez, at least a few months.

But check in every other day or so. I’ll be continuously adding characters to the tier list and giving my impressions on them as I play through the game. Comments and critiques are always appreciated. Also, I’m just one wrong person and these are my wrong opinions. Take them with a wrong grain of salt.

You can view the tier list and how it’s progressing here.




The Radiant Don

Ah, the big, bad, bruiser himself: Ike. Well, maybe not bad. Ike is a good guy in the Fire Emblem series (he hates rich people!), but he’s definitely big and a bruiser. Since his intro in Brawl he’s been popular among both beginners and elites. It’s easy to see why. The dude is a tank. And in Ultimate, he’s a fast tank. Or, faster then he has been, in some ways at least.


His nair and fair are both fantastic. He feels more agile in the air to me; he seems overall just less clunky off the ground. Short hop nair and his blade hits just about all around him. You can still spike with the dair, but it also can hit upwards if it connects from the side. Approach through the air all day. The side b is still fast and hits (or at least trades) against a lot. His jab is annoyingly fast, and his f-tilt is monstrous. The u-tilt is still good, it comes out quick, (maybe not as quick as it used to) and can kill. Oh, yeah, I mean, everything can still kill. At 0% you should be able to u-throw or d-throw into an aether (up-b) but this doesn’t feel like a true combo. Or, maybe it is at 0% with certain characters? Not sure. Still, it’s abuse-able against anyone not DI-ing outta the way. his d-tilt seems slower… it’s range annoys me (not long enough) but it can still be useful for dealing with people on the ledge. All the smashes are dumb and long and kill at low percents. Down smash seems to come out pretty fast. They can all be used to punish opponents that are rolling around ya too much.

Ike has priority on moves for days. As I mentioned his jab is great and fast and dumb. His recovery, something the people have always loved about him, is still frustratingly hard to deal with offstage. Still though, he’s not unguardable. Aether can be interrupted by lasers and after forward b misses, you’re in free-fall. However, if it does connect, you’re good for another up-b or jump, unlike in Brawl I believe.

I’ve never really liked Ike before, but I do in Ultimate. He seems powerful. He may have a hard time cutting through serious zoners, but you can get up close with his fairs and nairs. I like to stutter walk and switch-up my jab vs f-tilt approach. Jab also hits above him on the final swing, so that’s fun. His uair can kill; he’s dangerous below people. Annnd he has a counter. I love counters. I also like throwing in his neutral b to be spicy, even though it seems the super armor is gone. Read a roll from the ledge or a poorly timed approach and punish with it. Oh yeah, it can kill.

back to the tier list

these days

bubble tea in your belly, we roll together
on warm sheets, not washed in a while.

days like these, you find fun where you can
in times like these. laughter–‘please,’ she
said, so you do, or rather, I do. I did. we could

run away just me and you, go to New Zealand
or Canada: let’s do it, let’s become a Cole Porter song,
a Joni Mitchell jam. I haven’t had a case of you yet,
but a few bottles is enough to fuck me up. I’ll always be in the bar

and you should know that about me. at words pathetic
I’m so poetic, it’s grating, I’m sure.

tapioca is good in tea
but that’s about it, we both agree.

it is hard to know when to

take it easy flatfoot jack,
and stop blaming it on the bossa nova. the old school
was bad and we all know it, and they knew it too.

the climate today is women and those
who don’t believe them. monsters among men,
or maybe the latter is just made of the former.

‘god only knows,’ Brian Wilson spills out, but
god, I can’t muster a smile today. anyway,

her boot would look good on a throat,
as she burns the house down, chewing on
a cigar, sipping from a nalgene filled with tears.

she could
light it with that torch she always carries. flames need fanning these days, it seems.


boys will be boys or girls
or ho hum, anything they want

to be. girls will do the same.
cars tackle pedestrians or

protesters or just squirrels,
and dogs and cats sometimes.

trucks take a life easy, they
being so big, fast, high up off

the ground. look around friend,
see how beautiful Super Target can

be at night? everything from jewelry,
to artwork, to chips in cans,

–oh!– they’re out of ping pong
paddles. s’oh well, we’ll just

grab some at Spec’s, they always
have table tennis gear there.

this sky is navy and vast, above the super
shopping center, and it feels good to hold
their hand. we smile in the parking lot.

y’know, I’m not sure what Mr. Tillman
is talking about. how can one be bored in the U.S.A.?